Blog 03: Little Library Nightmare
On this rainy morning I bring to you a short story, a weird and uncomfortable one I had the comical displeasure of experiencing the other day. Come along, let’s rewind to this past sunny Sunday.
I went to pick up some snacks at a local health food store, a small one with a hectic parking lot and morbidly overpriced produce - in proper health food store fashion. There’s a little free library in front of this one, and for those of you who don’t know, little free libraries are these cute birdhouse-like bookshelves on stilts where people donate and find free books. I believe they spontaneously generate. Anyway, I almost always check the little library because I get excited every time in the hopes of finding a chance treasure.
This day was just like any other as I opened its little glass-paned doors and peered inside at the myriad of books, from political propaganda to colorful bedtime stories. I was skimming their spines for any title that seemed familiar, when a middle aged women approached me on her way out of the store, and quickly leaned in to tell me, “I’ve gotta tell you that guy in the black car [pointing behind me] just almost got in an accident watching you”, then she patted my arm and walked off laughing and shaking her head.
I replied, “What? Oh my god,” and I began to laugh in both discomfort and amusement at the prospect of a man nearly crashing his car to stare at me, a stranger. I turned around and by then his window had been pulled up, and the green light summoned the mystery man to his next ogling destination.
I began to walk into the store and contemplate what had happened on my way to the snack section, looking down at my outfit to see if maybe it were something I was wearing or a wardrobe malfunction, but my eyes fell to a loose t-shirt, leggings, and sneakers. I pondered in confusion as to why someone would so foolishly stare out their window with their foot on the gas in a busy parking lot, to look at what exactly? Was he also looking at the book titles but from the impossible viewing distance of thirty feet away? Probably not. Was he admiring the multiple redundant “26.2” stickers on the Subaru beside me? Probably not. The bushes? No. Maybe the lady made it up? Not likely.
I gathered my snacks, feeling flustered, and checked out.
I leave this story with you as one of the many and ever-confounding instances of feeling slightly violated in a public setting by the unwanted lingering gaze of a man. Of the times when other women tell you because they know you deserve to know. I want to illustrate the all too common second-guessing, the denial that maybe it wasn’t what you thought it was, that maybe you had done something to provoke it, that it really wasn’t a big deal maybe. But I think it is, because here it is unloading itself from my mind onto the page, asking the question, why? It was my little library nightmare, but it was probably just another afternoon drive home for that man, his leering unchecked, peripheral and forgotten.
Here are some statistics from 2014 conducted by the nonprofit Stop Street Harassment.
I included these statistics because they were the most recent polling data I could find. I know that I am not alone in the regular street harassment I experience, which includes many of the above examples. Here is a resource worthy of reading about Bystander Intervention tips and strategies, which apply to a wide range of public harassment. It is also important to note that of course not all harassment is directed from men to women, that there are countless other demographics that experience harassment in varying degrees in different ways, but we should all work to be more aware of it and look out for one another, to be a kind stranger.
Feel free to comment down below if you’ve had a similar experience you’d like to get off your chest or share, or if you know the origins of the spontaneously generating little libraries!
